Thursday, October 28, 2004


SPORTS FLUX says congratulations to Boston for finally wining. Now maybe baseball can now move on with it's life and get back to some normalcy. A baseball life without constant talk of 1918 and curses and...what's that? The Cubs have a curse that goes back to 1908?...SHIT!

Moving on, at least with the end of baseball we can now start getting into the NHL season. I love the NHL and....what's that? The NHL is in a lockout that will last all season?...SHIT!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Beam Me DOWN Scotty!

A hockey player is a hockey player -- right?

Not when there is a NHL lockout going on and NHL players are going elsewhere to play.

Scott Gomez, a star NHL forward with the NJ Devils, has signed on with the Alaska Aces of the ECHL. The ECHL is a AA minor league hockey league, filled with veteran minor league players along with some NHL prospects.

At first it sounds cool, a NHL star playing in small cities in a minor League and getting a small paycheck like the rest of the ECHL players. But the coolness wears off once you realize Gomez is taking up a roster spot that would normally be occupied by a struggling hockey player just lookin to make a living or work his way up.

Obviously, most NHL players would be pissed if an ECHL player came to the NHL and played as a "scab". So you can imagine that there are some pissed ECHL players out there after learning about Gomez (what do you think the Hanson Brothers would do to Scotty?).

I do have to admit though. I am excited to see Scotty play here in Fresno against our ECHL team the Fresno Falcons.

I will feel totally bad about it though ECHL players...really. I'll like only cheer when Scotty gets checked real hard against the boards.

I guess a hockey fan is a hockey

Sunday, October 24, 2004

It's Time For A Saux Championship

1918, 1918, 1918.


I hope that the Red Soxs can finally win a World Series just so they can shut the hell up!

I'm so tired of the Yankee and Red Sox hijacking Baseball. There are other Baseball teams and other Baseball fans.

If the Saux do win, I hope they will just go away so we could all move on. Unfortunately, ESPN and the rest of the media, likely won't let us

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Jerry Rice Is An Old Ass-hole!

Jerry Rice once made a now very famous comment (famous among my friends anyway) to a reporter once (I think it was a reporter); “I’m Jerry Rice, you’re an ass-hole!”

Old Man Rice has been traded to the Seahawks and he’s bringing his precious number 80 with him. That was the number Largent used while putting up his Hall-o-Fame, record breaking numbers in Seattle. The Seahawks have since retired his jersey. For those of you who don’t know, that means nobody (while playing for that team) can play with that number again.

Nobody…but Geriatric Jerry that is.

Largent gave Rice permission to use his retired number 80 after Jerry called and asked him if he could. Steve said yes but what else could he say? Steve has class, he doesn’t want to make a big deal over a number like Jerry did.

I just wish Largent would have said no to Jerry. And maybe he could have said no like this:

Jerry: “Hi Steve, It’s Jerry Rice. I was wondering if I could play with your number 80?”
Steve: “Sorry, no.”
Jerry: “Why not?”
Steve: “I’m Steve Largent, you’re an ass-hole!”

Monday, October 18, 2004

Let "The Curse" Come Out To Play Babe!

I despise the Yanks and the Red Soxs! So in this series, I don't care who wins, I just want the most intriguing story to rise up. That story, to me, is "The Curse".

Yes, Boston going to the world series after being down three games would be pretty damn huge, but I want the curse of the Babe to come out.

Please Babe, let the series get to seven games then have some freaky-ass thing happen late in the game so that Boston loses and everyone, without question, can see it was the curse that caused the loss.

Babe, maybe something with John Olerud's batting helmet or some Yankee player with a first and last name that would sound good sandwiching the word "fucking".

Bubba "fucking" Crosby sounds good.

(If ya got any suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment)

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Suck On That Boston Fans!

Ahhhh, those poor Red Sox fans. They don't have Curt Schilling anymore (his ankle is F'd). I would feel bad for them but I am an A's fan.

Last year the A's had to play the Red Sox in the first round of the playoffs without their ace Mark Mulder. Before Mulder went out that year, he was pitching some of the best baseball of his career. If the A's would have had Mulder that series, it would have been the A's getting beat by the Yankees in the ALCS, not the Red Sox (ironically enough, the A's didn't make the playoffs this year because they had Mulder...go figure).

In other playoff news: I don't know if anybody else has seen this but apparently there is another series (other than Boston vs New York) going on. I actually think the Cardinals and Astros series is a better series. I mean, I get all of the drama of the Sox and Yanks but it kinda gets old after a while. Really now, how many times can you watch the Yankees beat the Red Sox--when the game really counts?

Oh wait, I almost forgot, the A's have never beaten the Yankees when it counts either.

Maybe I should go "suck on that".

Frankie Say: RELAX, DON'T DO IT!

Most of you have probably have heard about Texas Ranger Frankie Francisco pulling a “Bobby Knight” of sorts and throwing a chair into the stands at a A’s game this year, inadvertently hitting a women in the head, breaking her nose. The woman is going to press charges and is likely going to sue. Of course sue Francisco, and maybe even the A’s.
Now if I was the one who got the broken nose, instead of suing the A’s, I would definitely work out a settlement. I would settle because I am an A’s fan and I would want some very specific things from the Athletics in my settlement…such as:

· When the A’s lose in the first round of the playoffs this year, I want the team to throw us die-hard’s a private party. At that party I want Jeremy Giambi sliding at home base throughout the entire shindig. Also Terence Long actually swinging at a pitch the WHOLE time, as well, instead of looking at called third strikes to end a playoff series (I know both of those players are gone but MAKE IT HAPPEN!). Oh and let me tell off Eric Byrnes for forgetting to touch home plate in the 2003 playoff-I don’t care if it hurt when you came home or not Burnsey!
· Force Mark McGwire to apologize to A’s fans for telling us he wanted to leave Oakland so he could be closer to his son in Southern California and then sign a deal with ST. LOUIS (that isn’t in So Cal for you geography inept). Oh yea, and then break the all-time season home run record with the Cards.
· Never invite Reggie Jackson to come back to Oakland Coliseum again. Every time he does he slips in some New York Yankee propaganda. We know you like your Yanks better than us Regg.
· Ken Macha must call ME before he calls the bullpen.
· I get to shave off Rollie Fingers Mustache.
· Force all of the A’s outfielders to wear their hats like old centerfielder Dwayne Murphy did. It was always so cool to see Dwayne’s hat come flying off even on routine pop-ups.
· At the aforementioned party, I want to do “keg stands” with Barry Zito, Eric Chavez and Eric Byrnes (does that make me gay?). I know I ripped Byrnes earlier but he’s got to be a cool guy to party with and he give the best post-game interview.
· Have Jose Canseco go around to area schools to talk about the dangers of having a bad hair cut.

Finally, find a way to get a new stadium built. One that doesn’t have the opposing team warming up right in front of the confused Oakland fan who still thinks he is at a Raiders game. Or at least put up some chicken-wire between the bullpen and the stands. That way the next time Frankie wants to throw a chair, he won’t have to RELAX-he can JUST DO IT.

Red Soxs And Cubs Fans Don't Suffer Alone

Yes, it's been a long hard road for Cubs and Red Sox fans. Everyone knows it was 1908 since the Cubs have won a championship and 1918 for Boston. Those years have been filled with turmoil, agony and heartbreak. But they aren't the only fans that have experienced heartbreak or who have been waiting for a championship as long as they can remember. Hell, some fans don't even know what it's like to be heartbroken.

First there is the Devil Rays and the Rockies. Now they don't really count since they haven't been around that long but still, if you're a true fan of those teams, you have the right to be a little bitter.

The Seattle Mariners have been around since 1977 and none of their fans know what it is to be in the series. Also the Montreal Expos have existed since 1969 and they have never seen a World Series either. You are probably thinking that there are no Expo fans but there has got to be some deprived sucker somewhere. Some sucker who's just been devastated these past 35 years without a World Series game of his own to watch or no chance to see his team on ESPN Classic.

Now let's dig a little deeper. The Houston Astros began their existence in 1962, the Texas Rangers in 71 (they were the Washington Senators). Now we are getting into multiple generations of fans who are disappointed year after year, not feeling the tension that is World Series play.

That takes care of the teams that have never played in one; here are some of the teams that have not won in a very long time.

The Brewers and Giants fall into a grey zone here. The Milwaukee Brewers have never won but the Milwaukee Braves won in 1957. The San Francisco Giants have never won either but the New York version of the team last won in 54 (The Oakland A's have won four times since they moved to Oakland yet the Giants are significantly more popular than the A's, in the Bay Area...go figure).

Right now Cleveland fans are probably screaming "What about us? We are losers too!"
Yes, you sure are guys. The sports teams on a whole are losers. Cleveland makes Boston and Chicago look like the Disneyland of sports. The Browns haven't won since 1964. The Cavaliers never have and the town doesn't even have a NHL team (although nobody will have a NHL team come October). What about the Indians, you say? Not since 1948.

But the bitterest fan of all these teams might have to be of the other Chicago team...the White Sox. They haven't won a Championship since 1917. And I seem to remember that whole Black Sox throwing the series thing back in 1919. Okay I don't remember it but I did see the movie; "Say it ain't so Joe!" Chi Sox fan actually has a right to be more pissed than a Red Sox fan but the White Sox never had Babe Ruth get traded away or have Ben Damon Matt Affleck rooting for them.

So come October, when you Cubs and Red Sox fans lament over a another season of what could have been as you watch the Yankees, or some random expansion team, win another World Series, don't feel bad. You will have more company than you thought.


If you watch any Baseball at all, you have seen them (hell, maybe you have been one of them). The Jack-n-Apes who sit around home plate, get on their cell phones, and wave to somebody watching them on TV. You see me waving…yea…hey look, I’m still waving huh? Ooohh, you can see me again?...I’ll keep waving then.
Can’t the director of the broadcast do something about this? Maybe blur them out or put an ad in front of their face? As soon as you see a fan around home plate put a cell phone to their ear, throw up a Viagra logo or a Sportscenter is next!

I readily admit, when I call people dorks it’s the pot calling the kettle black. But at least I keep it to the confines of the local comic book shop or Bloggin page.

If one day you find yourself next to one of these people, give them a solid punch to the arm as soon as they start waving. Now that is something I wouldn’t mind seeing!